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Upgrade boyfriend 5.0 to husband 1.0 - Pentium version

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a slow down in the overall performance,
particularly in the flower and jewelers applications
that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such
as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0, Premier League,
Counter-Strike and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House
Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

================================

Reply:

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment
package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try
entering the command

C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to
install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelers 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.

But remember, over use can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late
Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad
program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or
reinstall another Boyfriend program.

These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have a limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve
memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot
Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9. J

Good Luck,

IT Support